By Simbo Olorunfemi
Ayokunle Odekunle, a young Nigerian lawyer based in Canada, passed on yesterday, losing what was a brave, but short fight with cancer, from what we are told.
It has been a study following events as they have unravelled since his death was announced on Twitter(X) where he was known as @Oddy4real.
It has pitched one group against the other, a carryover from historical political different. One group, which feels offended by his activities prior to yesterday do not believe he is deserving of respect now that he has passed on. The other, some of who were closely associated with him or ready to overlook whatever differences they might have had with him are not only mourning him but actively raising support for his young family.
I have been following and wondering about this world of virtual relationships/friendships, asking myself what it is really all about. Indeed, I often find myself wondering about the boundaries and standards for friendship formed on the back of virtual interactions.
Should it end in the virtual world or spill over to the ‘real’ world? Should one mingle with the other? Should one reinforce the other? Can one be friends in the real world and be something other than friends in the virtual world, and all will still be well?
Obviously, there are no rules or formulae to this and there shouldn’t be. It is all about what works per relationship. Friendship can originate from anywhere and over whatever. While some relationships have grown to become enduring friendships and partnerships, with some even leading to matrimony, some have become everything but good for the people involved or those outside of the circle.
Looking at how virtual relationships have developed over time, what I have really struggled with it is how activities or expressions by people we only know in the virtual world can so rankle us to the point of animosity.
I would not have believed that it is possible for people to harbour such deep-seated animosity for others, simply on the strength of assumptions fashioned on the basis of activities here until some two years ago when some ‘friends’ and non-friends here ran riot on a post by a friend acknowledging Olajide Abiola and myself along with 2 other ‘friends’.
People we have never met, who do not know us outside of here assumed motivation for our writings, fabricating fallacies to justify their animosity. It was shocking, but not surprising. It simply made me wonder what was the basis of the ‘friendship’ we supposedly had with some of these people who, in one breath, were friends, but anything but that in their words.
But then, it is what it is. After all, many more have formed good impressions of us on the basis of their own assumptions of us here, as well. The only thing I will never understand is how a disagreement with a person you do not know can translate to animosity for the person.
This year appears to have been the most testy one for virtual friendship. People took positions and took umbrage with anyone who dared express a different in preference or opinion. For some, all that was needed to bin a friendship is for the person not to queue behind their politically preferred.
Quite a number of relationships were ruptured. Even some of us who were not that active here in support of any candidate lost ‘friends’ who voted against our position or insistence on civility by either unfriending us or going passive.
Fair enough, even if weird to me. No offence taken. Afterall, two must agree to tango. The only bit that I struggle to understand is how a disgraement with roots in political choices can so degenerate that even death will be unable to bring closure to it.
From what I have seen, it does seem that Ayokunle, a PDP member known to Atiku Abubakar and Bukola Saraki was quite controversial, given to giving as much as he took. But whatever it is, it should always be humanity first.
Obviously, at some point, perhaps confronted with the terminal nature of his illness, realised the futility of this virtual warmongering, reaching out to some of those who were on opposite sides with him to make peace. Some of the combatants on the other side insist otherwise, arguing that the man was still firing bazookas till very late.
What I find most instructive is that Japheth Omojuwa, one of those he had issues with, rose to become a true friend for him in his last months, visiting him in Canada and has now launched a fundraising effort for his family, which initially had a target of $15,000 CAD, but has done so well within 24 hours and has now raised $36,606 CAD, about $17,000 short of the latest target of $50,000. Again, tellingly so too, love has risen above hate and strife, as people are pooling together to raise support for Halima, Ayokunle’s wife and her 2 children – Khalil and Kamilah.
We obviously can’t and won’t all (always) be friends, but I have always believed that it is possible to live with love in the heart for everyone and keeping malice with no-one.
Of course, that does not mean one will be friends with everyone. That is not practicable. It is not possible. What it means is that one can/should strive to get along with everyone in a civil, courteous and respectful manner, irrespective of disagreement on ideology, principles and viewpoints. That I believe should be easier to accomplish in the virtual space. I can never understand what should be propelling animosity with people one barely knows outside of the social media bubble.
In spite of the wall of divide out there and the unending ruckus on X, I plug on to the triumph of love and humanity over everything else as demonstrated in the love and support extended towards the family of Ayokunle Odekunle. May his soul rest in peace.
