Fifty-seven-year-old journalist, James Azania, recounts to AYOOLA OLASUPO the painful story of how his wife vanished with their four children without a trace, and his relentless efforts to reconnect with them
What do you do for a living?
I work as a journalist; I will be 57 years old on September 30th this year. I’m married to the woman who went away with the four children we had. I’m from Oro in Kwara State, but I was born and raised in Lagos State.
When did you marry her?
We got officially married in 2008. The woman I’m talking about is Igbo, and she will be 50 years old this year. Her name is Mrs Uchenna Azania. She is from Ehime Mbano in Imo State.
According to the Igbo tradition, marriage constitutes many things, including what they call Igbanku; that is, ‘palm wine carrying’. We got married at the registry in Ikoyi, Lagos. We did the ceremony in their house; that was in Ajegunle, Oko Babasule Street; even her father, who died that same year, was there. Her mother and all of them attended Saint Mary Catholic Church in Ajegunle.
When did you notice that your wife had left with the children?
By that time, I was working for a newspaper in Lokoja, Kogi State. As of December 2019, my house was in Meiran, somewhere around Anishere in Lagos. So, I had even sent money in December 2019 for preparations for Christmas. One of my sales executives in my office, Mr Gbenga, had already sent me a gift hamper, and I told him to take it to my house in Lagos.
When he took it to the house around December 22, that year, I found out that there was a delay. Probably she (my wife) had moved out at that time, but I didn’t know because we (my wife and I) were still communicating. I was still sending money for Christmas and New Year until January 4, 2020 when I decided to travel down to Lagos for the New Year.
When I was about to go in the morning, I called my then-landlord to say that I would be coming and that in case I arrived late, probably after escaping the traffic, which was always at Berger, he would open the gate for me, and the man agreed. I arrived in Lagos around a few minutes to 10 pm. When I honked, the man opened the gate after some time and said, ‘Mr James, your people had packed out.’ That was the shock I got.
How did you feel when you heard that?
I was shocked because I had no inkling that my wife would take my children and property away. She never gave me any sign that she would do what she did. I immediately called her mother on the phone and explained what happened to her, but she started talking, and after some time, she said, ‘Don’t worry’. She sounded as if she was crying. She said, ‘Don’t worry, I will call you back’, and I said, ‘Mummy, why would you call me back? I’m the one calling you.’
She was saying that the credit on my phone had finished. I said, ‘No, you don’t need to call me back. I’m the one calling you.’ That means it was all planned.
Are you saying you suspected foul play?
Of course, they must have engineered it. So, that night I did not have any other option but to remain calm as best as I could. I drove around and went to a hotel in our area and stayed there. I was in Lagos for the next 10 days, going about, including going to her mother’s church in Ajegunle, trying to see if they were there.
I met the priest. I was shocked by the way the Catholic mission handled everything in the first place. Then I went to the children’s school at Meiran to see if I could locate my children there, but you won’t believe that they frustrated things. So, I had to proceed to the Meiran Police Station the next day to report the matter.
The police then followed me to the house, and the landlord opened the place but not a single pin was left in the house. This was a woman I was speaking with as of December 22.
Was she aware that you were coming back home?
Of course, I often come back home for the holidays every Christmas.
Have you been in touch with her since you realised that she had moved out of the apartment?
I tried to contact her. When I disengaged with the newspaper I was working with in 2020, I decided to move back and arrange my things because I have a house around Badagry. They called the place Second MTN before Mowo. So, I decided to move down to Lagos fully to take charge of everything and pursue this matter.
What efforts did you make?
I went to a child welfare protection organisation. I also went as far as going to the Office of Public Defender in Lagos State. They prepared a letter and everything. When they asked for her address, I told them I didn’t know where she lived.
Although one of the people at the children’s school told me that she stayed somewhere in Agbele, close to Meiran, it was the woman who told me that she was now into driving a Korope (minibus). I was sad when I heard this because this is a woman, out of my legal resources, I bought her a car. At one time, I allowed them to use my SUV.
I remember she said if I thought I was going to see the children when they later grow up, I would be joking with myself. So, when I went to the OPD (the Office of Public Defender), they prepared letters to invite them, but I said I did not know her address, and I described the house where the mother was staying on Cardoso Street in Ajegunle.
How did you later find your wife?
Those first 10 days when I was in Lagos, I went to the Catholic Primary School where my children attended, but they didn’t allow me in, despite being the one paying the school fees. So, people were helping me to monitor her, and they showed her to me that day. Before I came out from the hotel, she had entered her bus aqnd left.
I drove to where tricycles often bought fuel around Abule Egba. When I got out, I saw that she stopped at Abule Egba. I wanted to hold her, but the people there came out and said I should not do that.
Related News
My marriage… With Kunle Oyewusi
Firm to empower youths in property, investment
Man kills son during fight with wife in Ogun
I avoided creating any scene, entered my car and went back. That was what forced her to the Federation of International Women Lawyers. She also invited me there. I went there with everything, and they said she was talking about abandonment, and I said, ‘You are lawyers. How do you mean abandonment? I told you I came to the house. I was still sending money.’
At that time, I had requested my six-month bank statement, where it was very obvious that almost every week, I was sending money to her. So, they fixed another two weeks that we should come back with the understanding that she would bring the children. Lo and behold, I went there again, and I asked for the children. She started saying that if I wanted to see my children, I would have to buy a car and some other things.
That was how everything crashed, and it was the last time (2021) I ever saw her in my life. After that, she stopped using her phone number, which I had. I had also told her before then that she should send me an account in my son’s name so that I could send money there. She sent an account, and I asked for her phone number so that I would know that these people know of it. That was how she remained mute after that.
What do you think could have caused such an attitude towards you?
When I recalled what I saw in the past, I noticed that there had been an antecedent. When we got married, there was a boy Emma; he was like four or five years old at that time. He was staying with his mother in their house.
So, one day, I asked my wife where the father of the boy was. She said the father did not complete the marriage rites.
So, they didn’t give her to him. I recall very well that they neither allowed the boy to stay with the father nor allowed the father access to him.
When I looked at it, everything was shattering.
Do you suspect that what happened to the boy’s father could be the same thing repeating itself now?
Yes, I feel so because we all know what Igbo marriage means. We got married at the Registry; we also did a traditional wedding. It was my father who took the traditional rites and money, all running close to a million naira, to their village in Ehime Mbano. So, I believe it is a planned thing, and it’s so disappointing.
How old were your children when she left with them?
The last time I saw them, Jojo, the eldest child, was 12 years old, and by October 21, 2025, he will be 17 years old. I saw them last when I went to Lagos in September 2019. The children’s names are Jojo, that’s Joseph Chinedu Azania, the second takes after my name, James.
The third one is a girl, Athena. They changed her name to Ana because there was a day we were just discussing in the house, and I told them the etymology of the name Athena. They said no, this one is a goddess name. The last one is Anastasia, and she was born in March 2015. So, she’s 10 years old now.
What did you notice about the children the last time you saw them?
She must have been feeding them the wrong information. Nevertheless, if any of my children, like Anastasia, were ill, my wife would tell me that when I arrived, all of them would just be fine. I remember one day Anastasia was telling me, ‘Daddy, now that you are back, I am very happy.’
Have you seen anything suspicious on her mobile phone before?
Many incidents exposed her intentions. I had even seen a message inside the phone I gave her. The phone got spoilt and I took it back with me to repair it. So, after the repair, some of the messages were still there. I saw a message she sent her mum that said, ‘Mummy, don’t worry. I will show my husband.’
I was not surprised she was going to do something very dangerous, but what she ended up doing took me by surprise. My family did not make things easy because they were not supportive. To put it mildly, it looks like some sort of diabolism.
Are you ready to take your wife back if she decides to come back to you?
I will, but I’ll just be careful with her. Can you imagine from the age of about 12 to 17, somebody separates a father from his children? After they ran away, I even continued to pay the school fees for about one or two years so she should not let psychological torture to affect my children.
How certain are you that the children are yours?
I remember there was a time I was doubting it, but it was when my dad and I were talking that he showed me the birthmark just beneath my left leg, which I had never seen before, and he showed me the one he had too. He said I should look at Jojo, he has the same kind of mark too.
Have you ever thought of conducting DNA tests to ascertain their paternity?
When we went to that office (OPD) in Makoko, it was one of the questions asked. I said I would not mind because those are pertinent questions. Although I cannot be too sure because we also know what is going on nowadays, such questions must come out.
How would you react to the allegation that you are married to another woman and have a child with her?
It is false. There is no doubt that the nature of my work caused a lot of issues. When your family members have meetings, marriages or other events, it is difficult to be there. This caused a lot of misunderstanding. So, there is no truth in the allegation that I am married to another woman.
However, even if it is a case of infidelity, does this now permit her to abscond with the children and my property? You can imagine the psychological torture the children must have gone through.
… PUNCH.
Leave a Reply