By Oreva Godwin
I am a very bold and audacious young lady. Anybody who has met me in person knows I don’t tolerate nonsense. I’m blunt to a fault, sometimes too blunt for my own good. I don’t shy away from expressing myself or calling out what I disapprove of.
Oreva
So naturally, I ask myself: why would I, Oreva, fake an orgasm? Why can’t I be bold enough to tell my partner how to touch me, ride me, or please me so I can have orgasm? Why can’t I just say plainly, “this sex is bad, and we need to work on it”? And if it doesn’t get better, why not walk away?
But that’s me. Not everyone has my nature. I’ve learned not to use my boldness to judge others. Not everyone is blunt, not everyone is outspoken. Many women choose silence over confrontation, and that’s where faking orgasm comes in.
Today, dear readers, we’re diving deep into the minds of women to explore why so many fake orgasm. Buckle your seat belt, because you’re in for a ride.
In a 2019 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers found that nearly 60% of women have faked an orgasm. According to the research, 42% of those women who kept silent did not want to hurt their partner’s feelings. Around 80% of the participants kept it a secret because they were embarrassed or uncomfortable discussing the details of the sexual encounter with their partner. This means more than half of the women you know have probably faked an orgasm. Why do most women fake orgasms!? We will list out some of the reasons why most women fake orgasms.
To protect a man’s ego
Most women fake orgasm not to bruise the ego of the man. These set of women fake it so that their partners will feel like the boss while they are engaged in the sexual act.
To escape boring or endless sex
Most women fake orgasms to end a boring sexual moment. When the sex is long and tiring some women feel the only way out is to fake orgasm, as a way to escape the tiredness and bring the session to an end. Most men tend to allow themselves to release cum the moment their partners have had their fill.
Sexual insecurity
Some men are insensitive. They laugh and mock women without consideration of what the other person feels. They tell them how weird they act each time they hit orgasm. This makes the women to be on edge and stops them from hitting orgasm. They would rather fake it.
Failure to understand one’s body
Most women believe they can’t ever have an orgasm. They have never experienced one. They don’t know what triggers orgasm. So faking it becomes normal. They fake it to look normal before their lovers.
For such women, the only understanding they have about orgasm is from watching porn. They’ve watch porn and seen how female pornstars react when hitting the climax. So they imitate the act on the screen. A lot of these women have never experienced orgasm, they only get turned on.
Faking orgasm as trigger for the real thing
For some women, faking orgasm helps to trigger the actual orgasm. It triggers a raw urge in them, thereby making them hit orgasm a few moments after faking it. They become animalistic and move their waists in a way that the manhood can hit the G-spot, resulting in amazing orgasm. Many men think that their women had multiple orgasms without knowing that part of the loud moan and animalistic behaviour is simulated to achieve a desired objective.
Fear or inability to communicate sexual needs
There are women who lack the ability to communicate how they feel with their partner. They are too shy to communicate how they truly want to be touched or for the man to ride them. They can’t tell their partners whether sex should be done slowly, hard, raw or romantically. They fear to be judged.
Partner mismatch
Lots of women function by feelings. Once they love you, hitting orgasms occurs fast and easy. But when they start losing interest in their partner, getting to orgasm becomes a tough hustle. They start faking orgasms to make the men feel that they are still loved.
Controlling sex partner
Some women unfortunately are with men who don’t let their women ride them. For these set of women, the only way to aid orgasm is by riding their partners. But men with the alpha male attributes don’t let their women do what gives them pleasure.
A woman with selfish partners, who only care about their own pleasures and who feel the size of their manhood and stamina can make any woman hit orgasm, are often frustrated. This makes the women fake orgasms and end the tormenting sexual moment.
Fantasy and fetish suppression
A lot of women only hit orgasm through fantasies and fetishes. They have sex and only enjoy it with imagination. Orgasms, for them are triggered through imagination. Their imagination, but these women, unfortunately, end up with partners who talk too much and ask too many questions during love making and distract them from fantasising, thereby leaving them frustrated. So they fake orgasm to end the sessions. Of course, some of the fetishes desired by some women seems too much for some men. This may be as a result of previous orientation or stereotype which prevents them from adopting to new sexual adventure. The only option available to the women in this circumstance is to fake orgasm and bring the session to a close.
Amina was deeply in love with Raphael. The marriage was blissful at first, but later became sour. Raphael constantly cheated. Amina got accustomed to treating infections regularly. This made her gradually resent her husband.
The fear of contacting HIV constantly ate her up. You see, Amina is one who hits orgasms with feelings. If she loves you, hitting orgasm is never an issue. But because her feelings for Raphael had died, hitting orgasm became an issue. The husband noticed that Amina had suddenly stopped hitting orgasm and decided to question her.
Since Amina preferred the marriage more than the man in question, she opted not to walk away. She had built her world around the man and was afraid that her life may collapse if she decided to separate. She became a porn actress. She started faking orgasms to make her man feel they were still good together. Raphael thought Amina still had the love she had for him. Unknown to him, that his wife had become a closet actress.
Adanma had a fetish. Her fetish was to sit on a man’s face while he licked and sucked on her clitoris and vulva. She loved a man using his tongue to make love to her.
That’s the only way Adanma could hit orgasm. She had been unfortunate to date men who can’t accept that part of her sexual life. Only flings consent to such debauchery. But age was not on her side; she had to date who was available and started bearing children. Time was not on her side.
Dating men who can never put their mouth in a woman’s privates became an issue for Adanma. So she learnt to live an unsatisfied sex life and constantly fake orgasm to end the torment. Then she went out in search of flings to have her orgasms. That way she could finally be herself and feel like a woman.
Kamala was circumcised at an early age. She didn’t understand her body nor how she could have that experience of a lifetime. She craved for orgasms. She only got aroused and that was it.
She had heard that orgasm was electrifying and could make you see stars. So she craved for that feeling dearly. But unfortunately, it never happened. She was never satisfied with sex. She only got turned on and never satisfied.
She noticed that her sex partners over the years made her feel weird. Whenever they asked her if she had an orgasm she constantly said no, and they looked at her like she had grown two heads. So she watched porn and saw how female pornstars reacted when they hit orgasm. She went into character and tried it, and she saw that smile and satisfaction on the faces of her men. So she pretended that she had hit orgasm each time she made love.
Ladies, communication is everything. Stop hiding under the canopy of “wife material.” You have the right to express your sexual needs. Men aren’t shy about asking for what they want, so why should you be?
Study your body. When a man touches your soft spot, react, moan, guide him. If he moves away, pull him back. Don’t starve yourself of pleasure.
And if your partner is selfish? Walk away. Sex shouldn’t be one-sided.
Introduce toys, explore fetishes, and spice things up. Find your sexual kind. Because life is too short, and too boring, without a good orgasm.
An orgasm isn’t just pleasure, it’s freedom. So, “the next time you are tempted to fake it, ask yourself, are you protecting his ego or betraying your freedom?”
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