By Oreva Godwin
Love without passion is like food without salt, you can eat it, but you’ll never crave for it. And yet, too many of us are dying in silence, pretending we’re full while starving inside.
Welcome to the generation of women who are silent about their wants just to keep a man. We keep reminding ourselves that “there’s more to life than sex” and that “Men are scarce.” So we convince ourselves that a good personality and someone who provides are all that matters.
But let me say a very big hello to your vibrator. You know, overused vibrators can explode, right? So drop it and face reality.
Bad sex has made many women to cheat, with an ex, or even with a stranger after one too many drinks. I tell people this: alcohol doesn’t make you cheat. It only frees the part of you that’s already been thinking about it. When you’re drunk, your subconscious takes over, and by the next morning, reality hits you hard.
Your body craves warmth, that intoxicating smell of your partner, the deep connection that no sex toy can ever replicate. A vibrator can’t give you that hard deep visible veins going deep inside of you. Neither can a lubricant or an artificial vagina give the man that tight grip, that heat, or that mind-blowing release. So why do we keep deceiving ourselves?
Now, to answer the question, yes, bad sex can be a reason to end a relationship. Especially if you’re sexually active.
Those with low libido may endure, but for someone whose body and mind thrive on intimacy, bad sex is slow death. You’ll be miserable, especially if you believe in sticking to one partner.
Men have it easier. Many have normalized promiscuity and can tolerate a partner who’s bad in bed, as long as she cooks, is supportive, cleans, and has “wife material” attributes written all over her. They’ll just get the real deal outside.
But for women, it’s different. Society judges us for seeking pleasure the way men do. So we suppress our needs and pretend to be saints. Yet, when desire hits, we’re humans too. So, ask yourself, can you really live like that forever?
Some people scream about communication when it comes to sex! But let’s be honest, not everyone can be “taught.” Some lack stamina, some have zero sex drive, and others suffer from poor hygiene or habits that kill performance. You can’t keep begging someone to satisfy you or act right.
We love to preach that sex isn’t everything, and may be it’s not. But let’s not lie to ourselves either. It’s the thread that holds emotional and physical intimacy together. When that thread breaks, love starts to unravel quietly.
Kate, was in her twenties, when she finally decided to be intimate with her boyfriend, Ola. Everything was going smoothly until Ola reached his climax and let out an earth-shaking moan. Loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Kate covered his mouth, embarrassed, but Ola couldn’t stop. The next day, she could barely walk out of his house. When she confronted him, he said, “That’s just how I am.” She tried again, but his moaning turned her off completely. She ended the relationship.
Funke’s man had a low sex drive, quick to climax, slow to satisfy. For three years, she stayed faithful despite being unsatisfied, constantly using her vibrator. One night at a party, she met Mike, who caught her fancy, but she suppressed the desire.
When alcohol hit, Funke started feeling hot. She took off her kimono and was only on her sleeveless sexy short gown.
When Mike sighted her shoulders, he was drawn to her. He had a thing for collarbone and broad sexy clear shoulders. He imagined raining kisses on them and wanted to plant love bites on them. He approached Funke, and everything changed.
One look, one touch, and all her morals melted. The next morning, guilt drowned her, but the memory of that real sex haunted her.
Her partner proposed few weeks later. Now, engaged to her partner but dying inside, staring at the ring and asking herself if she could survive a lifetime of frustration. She became frustrated even before the journey of marriage could begin.
Ken was a sex god. He could make women scream without trying. Sex for him was his light and joy. He knew how to make his women lose control. He prided himself in the size of his straight, huge manhood. Women got wet at the sight of his manhood. His skill in bed? A 10/10. His skill at oral sex? 10/10. He mastered the act of sex.
Then he met Onome, modest, smart, and everything a “wife” should be. But she was painfully boring in bed. He convinced himself that he needed stability, not excitement. So he married her. But the truth? He still got his fill outside.
Kelly loved Diamond until they started having sex. Her moans were deep, too deep, like a man’s. So deep that sometimes he had to switch on the light to be sure it’s a woman he was making love to.
It threw him off completely. He couldn’t climax, no matter how hard he tried. She said she couldn’t control it. He said he couldn’t stand it. They broke up.
Ada was domesticated but lazy in bed. Every time her boyfriend Kemi tried to spice things up, she’d complain of muscle pulls especially when he tried new sex styles. Her lack of effort killed his desire.
He was not in search of just a domesticated woman, which was Ada’s strong point and the reason they stayed together for that long. But he couldn’t afford to marry a woman he would grow not to be sexually attracted to and only make love to her only when they want to try for a baby.
He decided to leave before resentment set in, before he found himself stuck with a woman he’d only touch out of duty.
Let’s be real, good sex is the power house of any relationship or marriage. Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t just marry potential when you know sexual frustration will turn you bitter later.
Sometimes, that dullness and moodiness in relationships isn’t “work stress.” It’s just people silently suffering from bad or no sex. And that boss who’s always angry? Maybe they’re just sexually frustrated.
And when you notice someone suddenly glowing differently, smiling more, dressing better, it might not be money. It might just be a new hot partner doing wonders in bed.
Sex is important. Stop pretending it’s not. Don’t neglect its power when choosing a life partner.
In the end, sex isn’t just an act, it’s language, emotion, connection. When it’s bad, love starts to stutter. When it’s good, everything flows. So before you say “I do,” ask yourself honestly can you live a lifetime without passion?
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